Picture this: You’re out somewhere, maybe having coffee with friends, maybe at a party, maybe jogging in the park. He catches your eye. He’s good-looking, for sure. But there’s something more. The way he smiles, something in his voice, the fact that he let that mother with two toddlers go in front of him in line.
Whatever it is, he’s got your attention. You’d like to know more about him. But you hesitate because you’ve never known how to attract a man. You don’t want to get it wrong and look like an idiot.
Do you just give up? Save him in your memory for a late-night fantasy and go on with your life?
Or do you take a chance? He might not end up being the love of your life – but then again, he might be your happily ever after. Instead of walking away, follow these strategies that show you how to attract a man.
Let’s look at our scenario again. We’ll say you’re at a party, chatting with some friends when you look up and see him. You’re immediately attracted and want him to feel the same way. Now what? Well, first you need to test the waters and see if he’s interested. Here’s how:
Use body language. Start with eye contact. Generally when you meet a stranger and you’re being polite, you might share eye contact for a second. If you’re interacting with them, it might be a couple of seconds. When you hold eye contact longer, or you look away and look back, that can signal interest. Add in a smile, and he’ll start to feel like there’s a connection between the two of you.
If he looks away or doesn’t return your smile, one of two things is going on. Either he’s not interested, or he’s shy or uncertain that you’re looking at him. Give him a minute. If he looks back and holds your gaze longer this time, or he returns your smile, you can feel pretty confident that he’s intrigued.
If you really want to send a signal that you’re interested in him, try this: with your head turned so he’s looking at your profile, brush your hair back over your shoulder to show a bit of your neck. For bonus points, add in a side glance and a small smile. These gestures go straight past his logical brain and hit his primal instincts. You’re showing that you’re open to his advances, and the vulnerability you display will trigger his instincts to protect.
By this point, you should have a pretty good idea if he’s interested in getting to know you. If he hasn’t come over to you yet, he’ll at least be paying attention to you. You can wait on him a bit, or you can casually make your way over to where he’s standing and start a conversation.
Let your personality shine. Up to this point, we’ve been mostly talking about sending signals with body language. But that’s all surface level attraction. If you’re ultimately hoping for more than a one-night stand, it’s time to see if his personality meshes with yours.
The first key to attracting a man with your personality is this: be yourself, but be your best self. Be friendly, positive, and reasonably upbeat. You don’t have to be Pollyanna, but you shouldn’t be Debbie Downer, either. Find a middle ground.
And the second key? Don’t be desperate. Don’t make him feel like he’s the only chicken left on a desert island with twenty starving castaways. He will run, as any smart chicken would. So don’t try to make yourself into something you’re not. Nothing makes you look sillier than desperation. Don’t agree with everything he says, don’t try so hard to be funny that you’re really not, and don’t try so hard to be sexy that you turn him off.
Instead, relax. If he says something you disagree with, tell him your point of view. Keep it light, not argumentative. Just don’t be afraid to show you have a brain. Men like a bit of a challenge. They also like knowing you’re taking them seriously. Having a fun debate where you listen to his point of view and share yours can send the message that you’re interested in what he thinks.
As for being funny, did you know that most men think you have a great sense of humor if you laugh at their jokes? Yes, sometimes their jokes are corny. Even a corny joke can be funny, though, so give him a laugh instead of an eye roll if you think he’s amusing.
Finally, the secret trick of how to attract a man is actually really simple:
Listen to him. Be interested in him. Look at him when he’s talking and lean forward a bit. Show you’re listening by responding to what he says and asking follow up questions. Then share something similar about yourself. As the conversation goes on, bring up something he said earlier if it fits in naturally, showing that you remembered what he told you.
Not only will listening signal to him that you’re taking him seriously, but it will also give you the clues you need as to whether he’s going to be the man of your dreams.
Knowing how to attract a man is all about sending the right signals and being a positive, pleasant person to be around. Take a genuine interest in him, and he’ll think you’re the most amazing woman in the room.