When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, there reaches a point where you’re wondering if he’s ever going to say those important little words. If it takes him too long, you might be wondering, “Does he really love me? Or is it all in my head?”
Saying “I love you” is a big step. It’s one many guys are reluctant to take until they’re positive that it’s really how they feel. They also want to know that the girl feels the same way before they show their vulnerable side. It can be tough to wait, especially if you’re pretty sure he’s feeling the emotion even though he hasn’t said the words.
The good news is, most guys will start to show signs that those three little words are on their mind before they’re ever ready to take the plunge and say them. If you see some or all of these signs, you can rest easy that your guy is feeling about you the way that you feel about him.
1. He spends his free time with you. Maybe not every waking moment – that might get annoying – but he definitely spends more time with you than he does with anyone outside of work. In fact, he seeks you out and arranges situations so that you can spend more time together.
2. He connects with you even when you’re apart. Does he take the time to send you a text, call you, or write you an email when you’re apart for a while? That means you’re on his mind and he misses you.
3. He may not be saying he loves you, but he sure loves everything around you. If you’re noticing that he’s saying the L word a lot, even if it’s not directly related to you, that’s a good indicator that love is on his mind. Listen for things like, “I love how you did that” or “I love your pot roast.” If he’s using phrases like that more often, love is on his mind.
4. He does things for you without being asked. Do you find that he’s surprising you with thoughtful gestures like bringing you coffee, washing up the dishes, or getting your car’s oil changed? Most people, men and women both, have an urge to take care of the people they love. You’ve probably found that you’re having the same feelings toward him.
5. He talks to you about things he doesn’t tell anyone else. Many men are hesitant to talk about their feelings or about past experiences that were emotional for them. If this describes your guy, but lately you’ve noticed that he’s more open about his past and how he’d feeling, that’s a sign that he loves you and trusts you to accept him as he is.
6. He does things he doesn’t like to do for you. Has he sat through a black-and-white film, with subtitles, even though he’d rather watch people blow stuff up? Does he go out on the dance floor with you even though he has two left feet? Does he listen to your Aunt Matilda’s stories about what her cats are up to, even though he hates cats and has other things to do with his time? That’s love.
If you’re wondering “Does he really love me?” and wonder if there’s any way to get him to hurry up, the answer is: maybe. You don’t want to push him to much. If he feels pressured, he’s likely to back off.
You can, of course, simply tell him, “There’s no pressure to say it back, but I just want you to know, I love you.” If you’re not sure how that will go over and don’t really want to take the chance, try this instead: Express your love the same way he expresses his.
Think about the ways he’s showing you that he really does love you, even if he hasn’t said it yet. Does he take care of you? Share important moments in his life with you? Do things he doesn’t enjoy? Whatever it is that he does for you, do the same for him. By speaking his love language, you’ll send a message that you feel just like he does. That will make it easier for him to finally say those three little words you’ve been waiting to hear.