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How to Know When You’re Ready to Start Dating Again

Often one of the first questions you get after losing a partner is, “When are you going to start dating again?”
It doesn’t matter whether your significant other passed away or you went through a divorce or break-up. Everyone immediately assumes you should get right back on the dating horse – maybe even you. How do you know you’re ready to date again?

The truth is, you may not be ready to date for quite a while. Luckily, there’s no rush, no matter what your well-meaning friends and family might be implying. You should take all the time you need to come to terms with where you are now in your life before thinking about moving on to the next stage.

Eventually, you may reach the point where dating starts to look like a possibility again. But are you ready? How do you know for sure?

Take a bit of quiet time and think about where you’re at mentally and emotionally. See if you’re at a place where you can say “Yes!” to the following questions:

Do you know who you are as a single person, and are you happy with that person? When you’re in a committed relationship for a long period of time, your identity begins to blend with your partner. It’s not just what you want. You have to take into account what he or she wants, as well. Your goals, interests, and habits are all affected by the relationship.

When you’re single again, you have to sort out what things you like because you like them, and what you like because your partner liked them. What are your new goals? How do you adjust your daily actions and habits?ÿ
It takes some time to figure all this out. If you start dating too soon, you won’t have a chance to sort out who you are before you start adjusting to fit your new partner. Make sure you know yourself, and you’re happy with the person you are, before you start making changes.

Have you forgiven everything that needs forgiving? The end of a relationship isn’t easy. If it ends because one partner passes away, the remaining partner has to deal with sadness and even anger over everything they’ve lost.

It’s common to be mad at your partner for leaving, even if you know it wasn’t their fault. Sometimes you’re angry with yourself for not doing more, or angry with the universe for making you go through so much pain.

Your emotions are just as complicated if you’ve gone through a divorce or a difficult break-up. When your relationship ends by choice, whether it’s yours, your partner’s, or a mutual decision, there are usually painful circumstances leading up to that choice.

If you’re still dealing with the hurt and anger from your loss every day, you won’t be able to focus on creating a new relationship with someone you’re dating. Your focus will be on what you lost, not on what you might gain.

You’ll find yourself expecting those same bad things to happen all over again instead of giving your new relationship a chance to develop on its own. It’s not fair to the person you’re dating, and it’s not fair to you, either. You deserve a chance to find happiness when you’re ready.

If you feel like you’ve worked through your emotions and forgiven everyone who needs forgiving – your partner, the universe, yourself – then you’re where you need to be to get a fresh start.

Are you excited about meeting new people? If you’re ready to date again, you should be excited about the idea. You’ll probably be nervous, maybe even scared, too. That’s normal. But excitement should definitely be in the mix.

If you feel like you’re only trying to date because you’re supposed to, because your friends are pressuring you, or because you’re scared to be alone, you’re probably not ready yet. Those feelings are your subconscious’s way of telling you it still has some issues to work out.

If you’re feeling scared or reluctant, take a step back and focus on the first two questions again – do you know and like who you are? Have you made your peace with your past? Once you’re in a place where you can say yes to both of those questions, the answer to the third question will be a yes, too.

The answer to how to know you’re ready to date again is a personal one that only you can decide for sure. When you’ve found happiness with who and where you are in life, you’ll find that dating again sounds like an adventure you’re ready to take.

6 Steps to Create Your Happily Ever After

Most fairy tales make it sound like all you have to do is get the right shoe on the right foot and everything will be perfect forever. The truth is that it’s a little harder than that to make your happily ever after. In fact, some people would say that the whole process of finding each other and deciding to commit is the easy part.ÿ
Once you’re in a committed relationship, the hard work begins. Don’t worry, there are plenty of rewards for your efforts. But it will take some effort – you can’t put nothing into your relationship and expect to get anything out. The math just doesn’t work out.

How do you create your happily ever after? Like a lot of things, it’s the little, everyday actions you take that lead to the outcome you’re looking for. Most couples who have managed to create a long-lasting, happy relationship practice the following tips:

1. Show your appreciation. When your partner does something for you, your home, or your family, make sure to thank them. Even if it was something they were expected to do. Even if it was small. Even if you really don’t see the point in what they did. The simple fact that they put the time and effort into doing the task means something. It really is the thought that counts. Be sure to say thank you.

2. Don’t nag. When you ask your sweetheart to do something, back off and give them a chance to do it. If they need a gentle reminder, phrase it in a way that’s not accusing. “Hey, have you had a chance to do X yet?” goes a lot further than “Are you ever going to do X? I asked you to do it a week ago.” As human beings, we all forget or procrastinate from time to time. Nagging shifts the focus from whether or not the job got done to whether or not your sweetheart did what you said. It becomes a power struggle instead of a simple mistake that needs to be corrected.

3. Split the work evenly. The flip side of the two points above is this: take care of your own responsibilities in the relationship without having to be asked. If you’re in a two-person canoe and only one person is rowing, you’ll only go in circles. Both of you have to contribute.ÿ

4. You don’t always have to be right. We’ve all experienced it. Your partner says something wrong. It’s not that important, but it’s just killing you that it was WRONG. For a happy relationship, if the information isn’t going to matter an hour from now, just let it go. If it is important enough to be worth speaking up about, do it in a matter-of-fact or joking way so you don’t embarrass them. It’s a matter of trust. In a happy relationship, each partner trusts that the other partner will “have their back” and help them avoid looking foolish. That doesn’t mean the occasional teasing is bad. It’s when one partner unnecessarily corrects the other all the time, especially with an “I’m smarter than you” attitude, that it weakens the relationship.ÿ

5. Have your own space. Most happy couples enjoy spending time together. Their partner is one of their best friends. But just like with your platonic best friends, sometimes you need some time apart. It doesn’t matter how much you love your partner. There will be points in your relationship when they will irritate you beyond belief.

If you have a way to get some space and time to yourself, you’ll find that their little quirks don’t bother you nearly as much. Whether it’s a room in the house that’s “yours” or a hobby you do without your partner, make sure you have some “you” time to recharge your batteries.

6. Focus on the positive. You’ve probably heard the expression, “Everything is relative.” Einstein probably wasn’t thinking about romantic relationships when he said it, but the statement still applies. How wonderful or obnoxious your partner is at any given time is relative to how focused you are on those qualities. In other words, if you focus on how sweet and thoughtful they are, that’s how you’ll think of them. The same is true if you focus on how rude and self-centered they are. People see what they expect to see. So if you want a wonderful partner, keep your focus on the wonderful traits he or she has and not on the negative ones.

We hear stories every day about relationships ending, but there are always some that go the distance. By treating each other with respect, focusing on the positive, and occasionally getting some quality alone time, your relationship can be one of the ones that beats the odds and reaches happily ever after.

How To Get Boyfriend Back When He Has A New Girlfriend

On the day your ex-boyfriend walked away and left you, your world ended. It was very difficult for you to accept the truth that he is not with you anymore. You resorted to begging, drinking, crying, and even stalking him. If you are hell bent on getting him back, then you have to stop wallowing in self-pity. It is time to do something about your crisis.

Starting a relationship is exciting and challenging at the same time. Here, you invest your time, emotions, and energy into knowing that special woman. Sadly, not all relationships last. If yours is one of the many that had an untimely meltdown, then you should know how intense the feeling of loss is. You may even wonder why you broke up with that special man in the first place. If you realize now that you made a terrible mistake, it is time to start getting your man back.

The most important thing to keep in mind before doing anything is that you should think about what you need to do first. You should never be impulsive in getting him back. Rushing into making your ex boyfriend love you again is a futile effort even before you begin. Don’t engage in a suicide mission. Be a good soldier and study your every step.

If you want him back because you can’t see yourself with another man, then it is time to step up to the plate. It is time to make the necessary moves to bring him back in your arms again. Take note of the following techniques:

1. Consider using reverse psychology.

Completely ignore him and his friends. This works if he and his friends were used to your nagging greetings and messages. Pretend you don’t know them at all, even if you are riding the same bus or staying in the same room. This makes your ex and his crew, wonder what is going on with you. Expect them to watch you from a distance, but be ready for some direct questioning. Do this tactic but don’t push it too much. If they do reach out to you, that is the time to talk to them again.

2. Make yourself busy.

Preoccupy yourself with something. This becomes your lasting excuse to NOT notice your ex or his friends. If ever you and your ex boyfriend end up using the same escalator or elevator, don’t be the first one to initiate the conversation. Get your mobile gadget and pretend to do something. If a co-worker or a friend is beside you, keep talking to that person, just so you can avoid looking at your ex or his friends. Bringing a book or having a ready e-book with you also helps a lot. Reading helps keep your head down, so you don’t have to look at your ex or any of his friends.

3. Keep yourself from looking jealous.

If your ex is with a pretty girl, do your best to look apathetic about it. Never show his that you’re jealous. Just pass by casually and ignore them. Do not turn back or move to another direction. Do what you need to do and do not show how heartbroken you really are. Showing your ex that you don’t care about whomever he is with, makes him wonder if you still have feelings for him.

4. Change your overall look.

This announces to the world and to your ex that you are ready for that new stage of your life. The real purpose of changing your look is to show off how confident you are despite the breakup. When people see that you look good, you tell them that your world continues to go on. This also attracts other women. Your ex can end up calling you, once he sees you with your new look.

5. One thing you have to keep in mind is not communicate with your ex all the time. It may be very difficult to do, but you have to erase your ex boyfriend’s number from your contact’s list. If you have his number available all the time, you can just easily dial it and talk to him. It’s so easy to do, but this whole talking-to-your-ex thing is not going to pan out well, because he will just get irritated. Losing the guy of your dreams is terrible, but becoming a nagging, needy, stalker is much worse. When you give in to the urge of calling him, you’re just letting your heart dictate your actions. This time, please do not let that happen, so you can have that chance to get him back.

6. Keep an objective view of any relationship. Accept the fact that no relationship on earth is perfect. It’s a continuous project. Both partners should work on it, for as long as they are willing to be together. Emotional surges, incompatibilities, and misunderstandings should be resolved by the two of you. It really does take two to tango. This means both of you can be right and both of you can do something wrong, which can affect your relationship. It’s not all happy moments. You have to see your faults, too, and correct them, even before you start getting your boyfriend back.

7. Start spending time with him. Of course, you have to wait for the right time before you actually suggest this. Even meeting at a local coffee shop would not be an easy thing to do, if your ex boyfriend is not sure about it yet. Be patient about asking him to meet with you again. Also consider the possibility that he may already have a new girlfriend in his life. If he accepts your invitation to meet and talk, then that would be the time to discuss how you would want to try again.

Getting your ex to love you again takes time and patience, mostly on your part. If you cannot think of any other man to be with, but him, then do your best to be the woman, who he has always deserved. With these given steps, your ex boyfriend will be back in your arms in no time. Just remember that your aim is to make him realize that you are the one for him. Once you get him back, do whatever it takes to keep him in your arms.

If you are really serious in getting your ex boyfriend back, check out this famous ex back program. It helps you to reignite that attraction he felt for your initially. All from just texting from your phone. The magic of texting is that there is no awkwardness, and you can choose when to reply or not. It’s the perfect channel to attract your ex back.

And if you prefer old school proven methods of getting back together with your ex-boyfriend, look no further than this classic book. You will be floored with how brutal and effective the strategies inside are.

6 Signs – In Search of Those 3 Little Words You Want To Hear

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, there reaches a point where you’re wondering if he’s ever going to say those important little words. If it takes him too long, you might be wondering, “Does he really love me? Or is it all in my head?”

Saying “I love you” is a big step. It’s one many guys are reluctant to take until they’re positive that it’s really how they feel. They also want to know that the girl feels the same way before they show their vulnerable side. It can be tough to wait, especially if you’re pretty sure he’s feeling the emotion even though he hasn’t said the words.

The good news is, most guys will start to show signs that those three little words are on their mind before they’re ever ready to take the plunge and say them. If you see some or all of these signs, you can rest easy that your guy is feeling about you the way that you feel about him.

1. He spends his free time with you. Maybe not every waking moment – that might get annoying – but he definitely spends more time with you than he does with anyone outside of work. In fact, he seeks you out and arranges situations so that you can spend more time together.

2. He connects with you even when you’re apart. Does he take the time to send you a text, call you, or write you an email when you’re apart for a while? That means you’re on his mind and he misses you.

3. He may not be saying he loves you, but he sure loves everything around you. If you’re noticing that he’s saying the L word a lot, even if it’s not directly related to you, that’s a good indicator that love is on his mind. Listen for things like, “I love how you did that” or “I love your pot roast.” If he’s using phrases like that more often, love is on his mind.

4. He does things for you without being asked. Do you find that he’s surprising you with thoughtful gestures like bringing you coffee, washing up the dishes, or getting your car’s oil changed? Most people, men and women both, have an urge to take care of the people they love. You’ve probably found that you’re having the same feelings toward him.

5. He talks to you about things he doesn’t tell anyone else. Many men are hesitant to talk about their feelings or about past experiences that were emotional for them. If this describes your guy, but lately you’ve noticed that he’s more open about his past and how he’d feeling, that’s a sign that he loves you and trusts you to accept him as he is.

6. He does things he doesn’t like to do for you. Has he sat through a black-and-white film, with subtitles, even though he’d rather watch people blow stuff up? Does he go out on the dance floor with you even though he has two left feet? Does he listen to your Aunt Matilda’s stories about what her cats are up to, even though he hates cats and has other things to do with his time? That’s love.

If you’re wondering “Does he really love me?” and wonder if there’s any way to get him to hurry up, the answer is: maybe. You don’t want to push him to much. If he feels pressured, he’s likely to back off.

You can, of course, simply tell him, “There’s no pressure to say it back, but I just want you to know, I love you.” If you’re not sure how that will go over and don’t really want to take the chance, try this instead: Express your love the same way he expresses his.

Think about the ways he’s showing you that he really does love you, even if he hasn’t said it yet. Does he take care of you? Share important moments in his life with you? Do things he doesn’t enjoy? Whatever it is that he does for you, do the same for him. By speaking his love language, you’ll send a message that you feel just like he does. That will make it easier for him to finally say those three little words you’ve been waiting to hear.

7 Ways to Improve Communication When You’re Dating Mr. Silent Type

It’s a sad but true fact: most guys aren’t exactly Dr. Phil when it comes to opening up and having those heart-to-heart talks women need. Men are often raised not to discuss their feelings. It’s a hard habit to break, no matter how much they might want to have good communication with you.

You can still have those serious conversations you need to have to build your relationship. It will take some patience on your part, but in the end, it will all be worth it. Here’s how to have great communication with your Mr. Silent Type:

1. Be the first to open up. If you’re willing to share your innermost secrets with him, he’ll find it easier to open up to you in return. When you tell him things you don’t share with other people, you’re showing that you trust him. That makes it easier for him to trust you. However, that does lead us to the next point…

2. Don’t expect equal sharing every time. You may have to open up to him more than once before he’s willing to open up to you. Remember that women are generally encouraged to share their emotions and experiences more than men, starting from childhood and continuing all the way into adulthood. Even if what you’re telling him is hard for you to discuss, you’re still probably better at sharing it than he would be. So try to be okay with an unequal amount of sharing. It’s more about quality than quantity, anyway. Once he trusts you, he’ll tell you things he can’t tell anyone else. You just have to be willing to let him do it in his own time.

3. Don’t share everything he tells you with your friends. It’s great to have confidantes that you can tell anything to. But when you’re in a relationship with a man who is slow to open up, just because you can tell your friends everything doesn’t mean you should. When he tells you a funny story that happened at work or something cute from his childhood, keep the information between you. It’s not that what he told you is a deeply personal secret. It’s simply that he shared with you, not with your friends. By keeping it to yourself and letting him tell the story if/when he wants to, you are showing him that you’ll keep his more private stories between you, too.

4. Don’t judge what he tells you. One of the most powerful things you can do to strengthen your relationship is to learn to listen without judgment. Think about it: when you share something intimate with a friend, you don’t want them to jump in immediately and tell you what you should have done. While you might appreciate their advice later in the conversation, the first thing you want to hear is empathy for your experience. Something as simple as, “I love the fact that you trust me enough to tell me this” can go a long way to making him feel like you accept him and the feelings he just shared with you.

5. Be quiet and listen. It’s really easy to turn a conversation that starts off about him into a discussion of you. Avoid that by keeping the focus on him. Just listen. When he knows you’re paying attention, he’ll be more eager to share.

6. Take the pressure off. If you can, get him doing something fun or relaxing while you’re talking. It can be anything from take a walk to washing dishes together (okay, that might not be fun, but it does give him something to do). Many men – and women – find it easier to talk when they have something else to focus on. It takes away some of the feeling of being put on the spot. Physical activity that doesn’t require much concentration can also help people sort their thoughts and make it easier to express themselves clearly.

7. Create a safe environment in your relationship. Everyone messes up sometimes. Everyone has baggage from previous experiences. If you’re always bringing up past mistakes or nagging him to do things he doesn’t want to do, he’s not going to feel safe enough with you to share anything deeply personal. He’ll be afraid that you’ll use the information against him at some point. Instead, focus on his positive qualities, show your appreciation when he does what you’ve asked him to do, and let the past stay in the past. Not only will this build trust between you, but it will also give you a brighter view of life in general.

Overcoming a private man’s reluctance to open up can be difficult. You have to avoid pressuring him too much. At the same time, you have to be open and non-judgmental. It can be hard work, but in the end, you have the good communication that helps a relationship last.

Can Your Ex Boyfriend Really Love You Again? What You Can Do

Just when you thought you had everything figured out, the man of your dreams suddenly decides to say goodbye. He has a new girlfriend. You then find yourself drowning in alcohol, ballads, and lonely DVD nights in your living room. You realize that this should not be happening to you. You should be with him—that you could very well redeem yourself despite the offensive things that you did to him. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that you’re okay with the breakup, you still miss and love him.

Well don’t waste your time crying in a dark corner. There is hope! Your ex boyfriend can love you again. It is never impossible. You just have to make your move before he starts a new relationship with another girl. Even if he has someone new, it it still not too late. Remember that your boyfriend wants to see you differently. He wants a better version of you. So, look at the suggestions below to see if you can get him back:

1. Have fun.

After the breakup, have fun with your friends. Let loose with your friends. When your ex sees how happy and carefree you are, he could become more attracted to you. Perhaps you became too much of a quiet time loving person during your relationship. When he sees you going out a lot, it can surprise him and make him realize that you are fun to be with.

2. Say “NO”.

Your ex might get a whiff of your still existing love for him and take advantage of it. When he asks you for favors, learn how to say “NO”. You should stop being available for him and show him that you have a real life without him in the picture. It is best to keep yourself occupied with errands or fun times with friends, especially during weekends. This will prevent you from even considering spending time with him.

3. Improve your body.

Even if you’re already fit, hit the gym and improve your body more. Working out at the gym helps boost your confidence and strength. When your ex sees you there, he might just realize that he should be your permanent gym buddy.

4. Provide him needed space.

Never follow him around or call him consistently. Your absence can give him the time to reflect and think about what happened in your relationship.

5. Throw away your pride.

If you know that the breakup is your fault, accept your mistake. It is not enough that you show up with a new iPad and his favorite games on xBox. He has to feel your sincerity. He has his mistakes, too, but you have to lower your pride to reach out to him.

6. Empathize.

Sometimes, you just have to put yourself into his shoes for you to see what really went wrong in the relationship. How would you feel if he was the one who flirted at any girl he met? How would you feel if he cheated on you whenever you had to work in another city? This would help you realize that being a woman doesn’t necessarily mean that everything you do is always justified.

Don’t sulk in a corner and cry. You have to pick yourself up and start doing something to get him back. He can fall in love with you again. Just do your best to be the woman he deserves.

Should You Speak To Your Ex Boyfriend Ever Again?

After accepting the breakup, you find yourself looking at your empty and sad reflection. You are torn between completely forgetting about him and re-establishing communication with him. Many moments alone in your room allow you to reminisce the happy moments you had together. You realize that you were good friends before you had a romantic relationship. This encourages you to pursue being on speaking terms with him.

The only problem with this is that talking with him again, might stir some things the wrong way. Take note that before you leave him a message of some sort, you have to meet certain conditions:

a. You have already started seeing other people and establishing relationships with them.
b. You have a mutual agreement that you will just remain friends.
c. You have no lingering issues before you broke up.
d. Your present partner or love interest is okay with you and your ex being friends.
e. You don’t have any romantic feelings for each other anymore.

If either one of you does not meet any of these conditions, then the following are reasons good enough for you not to talk to each other again:

1. Your present partner is not cool with it.

Any man in his right mind is never all right with his girlfriend, still on speaking terms with her ex. It is awkward, especially when you run into each other at a mall or a theater. Your present boyfriend might just end the relationship with you, thinking that you still have unresolved feelings for your ex. Remember that it is a form of respect for your present partner, if you discontinue communicating with your ex. Jealousy and insecurity can thrive in your present relationship and may eventually lead to its downfall.

2. It gives you a nagging thought that your ex might be the one.

Talking to your ex makes you think that he just might be the one you’d end up with someday. You formulate this fairy tale scenario that no matter how many men you see after your ex, you will always go back to him in the end and be happy. This is a nice thought, but it rarely comes true. Always having this speculation prevents you from actually meeting the right man.

3. It can harm the relationship that you’re starting with someone.

It is never a good idea to stay friends and continue to communicate with your ex, when you have a new love interest. You tend to compare your present prospect with your ex. The moment you start doing this, you unconsciously put an end to the blooming relationship. You stop it even before it actually starts. It is best to eliminate your ex from your present romantic endeavors. This gives the man you’re dating the fair chance to prove his worth.

Talking to your ex is nice, but it should not affect your life anymore. A “hi” or a “hello” here and there is good and well, but it should not be on a regular basis anymore. Move on and give yourself the chance to find the true happiness you deserve.

You are not alone in this ex-back predicament. The good part is that many people have had this experiences and have documented their findings and success. The ex back program is 1 such solution available. It teaches you how to use simple text messages to seduce your ex back. You can try it out and see if it works for you.

Alternatively, there is a famous book that made a big bang when it was first released about getting your ex back. Check out the making up book. If this is the first time you are wanting an ex back, the insightful information inside might just blow your mind.