Is He or Is He Not? How to Know If a Guy Is Into You

It can be a fun guessing game or a frustrating puzzle. How can you know if a guy is into you? Sometimes there’s a lot riding on the answer. You want to get it right. So what are the signs that he’s as attracted to you as you are to him?

The answer to that question can change a bit depending on the situation. Is it a guy you’ve seen but haven’t really spoken to? Is it someone you know and have talked to, and maybe you’re even friends with? Or is it someone you’ve been out with a few times, but you’re just not sure if it’s moving from casual to more serious?
Some of the signs of attraction will be the same through all these stages, while others will change as you get more familiar and comfortable with each other.

In the first stage, which we’ll call the Interested Strangers stage, you mainly have to focus on body language to see if he’s into you. Eye contact will be the biggest clue. If he’s watching you for longer than the normal second or two that one stranger looks at another, he may be attracted. Try meeting his eyes and holding his gaze for just a moment. Make sure you smile as you do it. Look away and then look back. Is he still watching you? Did he return your smile? If so, things are looking good.

At some point, you’ll have to talk to him if you want to get a better idea whether he’s attracted to you. Watch how he acts during the conversation. Any of these behaviors can signal interest:

–He turns his body toward you. Take a quick glance at his feet if you can. Are they pointed in your direction? Is he facing you? The more focused you are on someone, the more you’ll turn toward them if you can.

–He mirrors you. You touch your cheek, he touches his. You laugh, he laughs. You put your hands on the table, he puts his on the table, too. The exact actions aren’t important, just that he’s (probably unconsciously) mimicking you. Mirroring is an instinctive behavior that establishes a connection between two people. (Hint: try this if you’re trying to signal that you’re into him.)

–He keeps his eyes on you. If his eyes are constantly roaming around the room or he’s always looking at his phone, that might be a sign of disinterest. If he’s mostly looking at you, that’s definitely a sign of interest. One thing to keep in mind, though: a guy who’s shy might look away more because he’s interested and doesn’t want to be staring rudely.

–He tries to impress you. If he’s into you, he’s going to try to prove he’s a good catch by bragging a little bit.

You’ll see these same behaviors in the next stage, which we’ll call Just Friends…Or More? If he’s gotten comfortable with you, he’ll show even more signs that he likes you. In this stage, look for this:

–He gets in your space. He touches you “randomly” or “accidentally”. Or just playfully – messing up your hair, giving you a high five, even hugging you.

–He seeks you out. Does he find excuses to be where you’re at? Does he call or text you more than you call or text him? Does he connect with you on social media? If he’s trying to spend time with you, that’s a clear sign that he likes you.

–He acts protective toward you. If you mention going out with another guy, he wants to know if the guy is treating you right. If you have a problem with something mechanical, he offers to fix it. Most men are protective of people they care about. While that can include “just friends,” combined with the other signs it indicates that he’s interested in you.

In the final stage, Is It Serious?, you’ve at least reached the point where one of you asked the other one out. You’ve possibly gone on a few dates, but you can’t quite tell if he’s feeling romance or friendship. It’s more likely to be romance if…

–He compliments you more. If he occasionally gave you a compliment before you started dating and has stepped up his game, that means he’s paying more attention to you and noticing when things are different.

–He includes you in more areas of his life. Whether it’s telling you more about his day-to-day life, introducing you to his friends or family, or sharing deeply personal secrets, he wants you to know more about him.

–He talks about what the two of you will do in the future. Even if its weeks or months in the future, that’s still a sign that he’s invested in the relationship on more than a friendship level.

–He takes care of you or treats you differently than other friends, including female friends. When he thinks of you romantically, he’s going to treat you differently. In some ways he might be more casual with you than with other people because he’s come to trust you. In other ways, he may be more caring or protective because you mean more to him.

One thing to keep in mind about guys is that they usually aren’t subtle. Don’t tie yourself in knots trying to decide if he’s into you. If he likes you, he’ll show it.