There always is someone who has the upper hand in a relationship. It could be between you and you boss at work, you and your little brother at home, or you and your boyfriend. It is needless to say that having the upper hand has it’s advantages in a relationship. You get to choose where to go to for the holidays, what to have for dinner and what expensive gifts you want for Christmas.
Getting the upper hand is a form of control or leader status that one of two people has in a relationship. Power struggle are common reasons for relationships to fail.
For example, let’s say that Jenny and Mike have been good friends who met years ago in a school library. They began chatting up one fateful day and eventually Mike asked Jenny to go out on a date with fine dining and a romantic movie. Jenny agreed and they had a good fun time together that day. Mike began thinking about Jenny all the time and can only think about the next time he is going to see her. If she just sent a message saying that she was free for 10 minutes, Mike will cancel everything he has and even flake on his best friends just to see Jenny for 10 minutes.
On the other side if the fence, Jenny just thinks of Mike mostly as a friend. And the thought of being in a relationship with Mike has never even crossed her mind. She is dating other hot men. In this example, Jenny obviously has the upper hand in the relationship. In general, the party who has the ability to walk away from the relationship feeling a smaller loss than the other party will control the relationship.
I am sure you would prefer to have the upper in your relationships.
Here are 3 clear signs that you have the upper hand
1) You are always the passive person who get contacted. He is the one who calls you to ask whether you are free all the time. You basically spend the day going about your normal routine knowing that he is going to ask you out during the day.
2) You can always squeeze him into your schedule no matter how short a notice you give him. All you have to do is inform him that you are free at a specific time and he will move mountains just to keep you company during that time. In extreme circumstances, he might even take a plan to fly out of the country just to meet you.
3) You have lot of priorities on your plate while you are the only priority on his. You could even be dating many guys and telling him about it while he is eternally devoted to your attention.
Most of the time, women hold the upper hand in relationships. Do not abuse the power in your hand and make men jump through too many hoops. With get power comes great responsibility.